The Day I Quit
"Really? I doubt it."
"No really, I am. I'm going to leave the world and go," I said, my face going back into the hot Thailand sun.
It was 04 and we were in Ko Samui. We had just visited Chiang Mai, where I had met the five travelers who so inspired me to travel the world. Your world of non 401ks, holidays and Bosse was too good to be true, and I wanted to be part of it. I was determined to be part of it. I even started to prepare for it, while in Thailand, before I had any real idea of what I wanted to do.
While in Koh Samui, I bought the Lonely Planet guide to South East Asia. I did not even know if I would go on my trip. I did not know that my journey would be or how long or what I wanted to see. But the guide purchase made the whole thing seem more real. It was my commitment to travel. I had the lead; there was no turning back. The guide symbolizes my journey and for me, it represents what I had to make the leap to do.
I read every page of the book on the flight home. I marked objectives, planned routes and worked my journey in my head out. I knew everything about Asia by the time I landed in Boston.
However, once again, I come home to the realization that I had no idea how to make this happen. Would I finish my MBA? How much money do I need? When could I go? Where would I go? What would people say? How do I get a ticket RTW? Which credit card should I use? Are hostels sure?
The list of questions seemed endless, and in the days before the travel blogs, Twitter and iPhone apps, the challenge of planning a trip was much more frightening than it is today. Outside a few sites, it just was not as much information on the Internet at that time. It took longer to find much and was a little outdated generally.
But the real challenge to tell people I'd went and let them know I meant it. I do not remember the exact conversation that I had with my parents. My impulsive decisions always encounter (of which there are many) with a little nervous, "the world is a dangerous place, and we care" parental reaction. Over the years, I somehow tuned them out. I have my father's stubbornness, and when I make a decision, I make it. For a while, I do not think they believed, myself, and until the day I left her to try to dissuade me.
But what I remember going into my boss' office. It was came a few weeks after my return from Thailand, and I was getting more and more sure that I would make this trip. I knew I had to do this trip. I went to his office and told him we needed to talk. Off the door, I sat down across from his desk and told him.
I was leaving. Once passengers meet, I knew I had to travel around the world before I started my career.
He leaned back and scolded. "You have only in this position 8 months. It is difficult to find immediately a new person. It really puts me in a bind."
He stared at me intimidating.
"I know and I'm not leaving immediately," I replied. "I'm 6 months to finish off now, finishing my MBA, and then go."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," I said, as confident as I had told it ever.
In a way it was more than my job I quit that day. I listen to my life. I listen to the American dream. My life was on the way down a road that I realized I was not ready. Marriage, houses, children, 401ks, game data, college fund - everything you think of when you think about the American dream. While there is nothing wrong with that, it was not what I really wanted. It took a trip to Thailand to see me, I was unhappy. At 22 I worked 50 to 60 hours per week, to retirement funds and the planning of my next 40 years. I never liked it, but that was exactly what the people were doing, right?
My trip to Thailand has shown me that there is more to life than grind the company. While life for many people is good, it was not good for me.
The day I left the office the day I was quit a life I've never really liked. I lived to work, not live to work. And if I jumped at 25 on the road, I was not ready for that kind of life. I would return to the "real world" when my journey was over.
Although, as time passed, I realized I could never go back. The gap between the world and me was too great.
Sometimes the decisions we make ripple forward in our lives like giant tsunamis. I thought the day I left, I was to leave only a job. It turned out that I leave a lifestyle. I listen to the American dream, while I found my own and have never looked back.
And they say: Stop for loser.
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