Dealing with fights in the street
Elise and I are fighting. A lot.
There is usually over trifles, although not really a role, sometimes even blown to obtain the smallest problems out of proportion in the heat of the moment.
There is the stupid stuff, like where we should go next or what we should see. We argue about eating a lot, too. Elise is always hungry and need to eat during the day, while I can last all day on a big meal. And our shooting often causes disagreement. We do not always have the same "vision". Parts
The spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week is bound to someone to take their toll at a particular time or another. It is normal. In all honesty, I would be more concerned about our relationship when we did not to spend to fight together so much time.
Our fights usually occur on travel days, when one of us either tired, hungry tired (mostly Elise!) Or to the tag. Travel 18-24 hours in buses, trains or planes brings hardly the best in someone. The snap starts over something trivial (like to take a taxi which), and before you know it, we fight as Elise never heard or, as I never understood her feelings.
A classic fight that should have us deserves happened a spot on Jerry Springer, as we go from Kathmandu to Chitwan in Nepal. Chitwan is only 150 km away from the Nepalese capital, but the road conditions are really bad, so we were on a tight mini bus for about eight hours.
Once we got off the bus, Elise started on about how she had a sore throat and just needed a bed and a shower. I, on the other hand, was feeling pretty good. The motion sickness tablets I had hit me while driving taken out, and I had managed to get some sleep on the bus to grab.
This is when the bickering started.
We each grabbed about the best way to reach our house, what would for guest house we remain, and how long we will stay there. We argued all the time until we found a place to stay. Once we were in our room, it was even worse. The fighting eventually escalated until I walked and Elise had a sleep.
When I came out of my way, the fight began again. This time it was like I never put my toothbrush or contact lens solution in place and how Elise can never remember where she keeps things in her backpack.
The fight lasted several minutes more, and we began to ask completely independent of the original theme to choose. When a battle is at all about anyway? You always land on irrelevant issues to contend with. You say things that you regret later and not even really mean in the first place.
With tears in his eyes and Elise so exhausted me through the whole argument, it was at this point that we had to make a choice. Either continue to fight or come to our senses.
I told Elise we needed to calm them both and see what we fought. What was the root of the argument? Nothing but a bumpy bus ride.
I think Elise was as relieved as I was to end the fight, and in the end we we talk about the ways to resolve these conflicts and prevent them from happening in the future.
are dissolved as conflicts
the matter of the fighting on the street is that the arguments for a different shape than the fights you have at home. there are distractions such as friends and work to keep your mind from the argument at home. When traveling, but there is no escape. You need to talk about how you feel or what we could and come to a resolution.
What works really well for us a "word". If a word you can use both if you think the other person is a struggle for the sake of it picking. You have to like both this agreement. You can not abuse the word and say it to bring if you just want your partner to silence. It has both.
This approach to work really saved us and many fights prevents starting. For example, when Elise complained about how long we have walked or how hungry she is, it tends to get on my nerves. I'm going to make comments on her back, which can be a little heated, and Elise is simply the word. It snaps me right back in line. Although it may sound silly to act as quickly on a small word, it really helps us to prevent situations getting out of control. I realize that what I say is not necessary. Problem solved. Struggle avoided. Happy days.
Honesty is another important part of a relationship that conflicts can help to solve. Not being afraid to express how you feel is so important during an argument. You must be listening to each other's point of view and take both criticism and advice to heart capable.
arguments are no different than a disease and prevention is always better than cure.
after 16 months on the road, we, as a couple, have pretty much figured out how the major arguments to avoid. We still talk a lot, but it is never something as serious as the struggle in Nepal. We are now aware of what can set off and always try to minimize these actions before they get out of control.
Travel lets us work together in stressful situations and solve problems, but it also allows us to learn how to avoid arguments. The latter is the most difficult thing about traveling with distance as a couple, but I think we master it slowly.
Anthony is one half of the dynamic duo at Positive World Travel. Both he and Elise is writing about their experiences and thoughts on what long-term travel as a couple. You can follow on Facebook for more updates of their trip.
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